Meeting Ailin Part 3

Nearly all of us have said something with one intention, and it is perceived completely different by the person on the receiving end. This was the case with one point of conversation I had with Ailin during our third meeting.

The conversation was started normally as we talked about the upcoming Thanksgiving break and plans we had for our days off of school. I started talking about going to see my family in Colorado, hanging out with my brothers, and all of our Thanksgiving traditions we have at my house. Even though I wasn’t sure if we had talked about Ailin's family in Shanghai before-due to the limited number of times we were both available to meet this semester and the extended time periods in between meetings- I asked once again what her family was like. I inquired about her siblings, casually, forgetting not only that she had previously told me she was an only child, but that she has to be an only child due to China’s one child per family policy.

I would describe myself as an educated person, sensitive and cautious when talking about other people’s cultures and practices. I knew China had a one child limit family policy, but I had completely forgotten. At this point in the conversation I was so embarrassed because I had just spent the past ten minutes talking about my family and how close I was with my brothers. I was embarrassed because I felt like this may have made me seem uneducated or insensitive, both of which do not define me and I strive to avoid appearing. Immediately after Ailin reminded me of this policy in China, I tried to make up the lost ground by admitting that I was aware of that policy and then transitioning the discussion by asking if she was close with anyone else in her family.

This example of appearing insensitive or oblivious to another’s social norm is just one of the many reasons why gaining a global perspective and interacting with others is so important. The more we know and attempt to learn about people different than ourselves, the less likely instances like this will happen. Understanding different cultures and norms can not only avoid conflicts that may simply be due to a lack of education or knowledge, but build friendships and loyalties as shared values or simply tolerance of new norms leads to a stronger global community. The world is becoming more and more globalized, especially with the new advances in technology, and this mistake in my conversation with Ailin was a humble reminder to continue to keep a global perspective and open mind to all different cultures and people.

Despite this one awkward moment, the rest of my conversation with Ailin was very enjoyable as she told me about her friends back home and what her secondary education experience was like. Ailin played badminton in high school and many of her high school friends are students at a university in China. Similar to me, Ailin keeps in touch with her high school friends while she is away at college. She skypes her friends every weekend, and learned that they are having trouble with their university classes, especially math. Ailin sympathized with her friends and attested to the difficulty of math in China. She added that her roommate’s math book looked very easy here, and as a result believes this will be the first academic class she takes at TCU.

All in all, this third conversation with Ailin was filled with a mix of feedback and emotions. Not only did I learn more about China and Ailin’s life back in Shanghai, but through my mistake reconfirmed the significance of this project and making friends with people from different cultures.